Listening to a song call "linger" by the cranberries.
it really give a strong feeling.
Multiple type of feeling.
-to love
-heartbroken
-emo
-a sense of success in achieving everything in my life
Just now almost 9pm only go back home.
Take away a burger at the street near LRT straight go back home.
Jay chow-mine mine.....
so nice...
i still like jay chow's songs.
Today, some people try to persuade me to do something i don't prefer.
is really pointless to force people, especially people like me.
I always do something for a reason and that reason definitely will not be "follow lo". Unless i'm on a situation where i don't have a sense of direction which currently i'm not.
Sometimes, i really don't know what is my heart thinking.
sometimes, i really so into you.
sometimes, i'm not at all.
is this a sign of desperation?
maybe i am.
when i'm in a confusion or desperation, i don't make a choice/hold on.
I'm sorry if i had really mislead-ed you.
but all i can say is, what i said is true.
and, i always choose my word carefully.
Hope u can understand and forgive me.
I'm not saying i'm giving up or whatsoever.
is just that i'm unsure.
the courage is gone.
i'm a passive person already.
No matter what, i still enjoy my life.
stop talking about love for god sake.
lets write something else.
study?
ACCA? CIMA?
1 year ago i will say definitely CIMA.
Now? should be CIMA.
as time goes by, things will change, as environment is changed, is eventually change our personality slowly.
After a serious thought of it, if i were to go accounting line, CIMA la...
but i still have the interest in teaching in uni, and might as well as get a master while teaching in uni.
see how things goes.
Worked half year already.
already get half month bonus. haven't hunt for another job yet. no time to do so as well. let me learned all the stuff 1st which i still haven't achieve it.
Might gonna change the car soon as my house gonna have a spare car.
but honestly, i like my kancil.
is a really nice car.
is been with me all the up and down time.
those happniess, those sadness, crying in the car alone.
fetched countless of people and of coz indirectly helped them xD
The kancil really been with me all the time.
really got a bit of hard feeling if i were to change the car.
remembering the moment of fetching the girls u fall in love before.
the feeling is really.... the happy moment in the past.
what's done is done.
is really strange, although u know u really let go, somehow, when u think abck those happy moment, u really still feel the happiness of it even u really get hurt so badly. and honestly speaking here, i am. Haha...
the feeling of sacrificing to see someone u love happy, no matter how much u suffered, u will still smile when she smile. Silly, but i like to do that.
Yes, i keep digging back the old news, but hi, i'm bored here, when u bored, u will think, when u think, u think back the old time when u bored and think back the happy time u had, especially in home, nothing to do.
I'm just writing what i'm thinking and what i'm feeling.
Now???? a free man. Haha... Nothing worry, just worry I will foreveralone.jpg only. Hahaha.... i still remember my mum's "son, then are you gonna marry another girl?"
Current life so far so good, couldn't say is awesome, but is good.
don't have decent pay job, but at least sufficient to use.
don't have a decent job, but at least i learn something and get pressured.
don't have a nice car, but at least got kancil, can fetch a lot of people. xD
don't have a good look, but at least my skin is very fair. still gain attention LOL
don't have a great personality to chase girl, but hi, I am who I am. Love me for who I am, not because I'm being someone else or to be someone else.
got friends.
good friend don't have much, at least, some a group of trusted friends.
although don't give appraisal to myself, sometimes, i do like now.
sometimes, i might seems to be strange person, i'm not. I know who I am. I know what I want, I know what I want to do (most of time). I don't simply follow.
I need correct facts.
I don't mind sacrifice as long as it able to help someone.
always tell yourself, before expecting people to help you, you must help others 1st.
don't let money ruin your life.
u want money to flow into you, 1st, learn how to let money flow out from you.
i always belanja friends, not i'm rich, but I'm willing to let go.
waste few ringgit (3 to 10 la,acceptable range to me as i don't earn much =)) to give someone happiness, no harm right? help you friends! (good friends that know u well and long enough).
Sometimes, i feel we are too selfish already in this society. Yes, be calculative, can't afford to belanja, but sometimes, we have the tendency to "use" (yes, USE) friend to gain personal benefit WITHOUT appreciating or HELPING BACK.
so always be grateful. be helpful, and of coz beware of scam as well.
I don't like showing off. Hate people who have thick face.
just be yourself, don't need to make yourself to be someone that not u wanted to be.
just like my Facebook profile there said, take time to know me =)
Good night. Im very tired of typing with this 10 inches screen.
happy new year everyone!
wish i will have a gf soon.......
really.......
no matter how much pain inside, i'm willing to sacrifice for the sake of love.
i really will sacrifice everything for love.
if i can just fall in love again. and of coz dare to love.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE.........
U know my style don't you?
When I am emo or not in a good mood, high chances that I will be writing a post here.
And here I am, writing/sharing out right here.
Tomorrow, or later afternoon since is Monday already, suppose to be a good good day to me. I am suppose to go shopping with my good friends. Shop, lunch, movie, dinner, shop again. Oh yeah, gonna be a good day. Got a blueprint already.
But
But...............................................................................
Something "DISTURBED" again!
Wanna know my 1st reaction?
"oh.. fine, I don't go then".
"maybe I should go Mid valley myself instead".
After seriously thinking about it.
Maybe I should just join the gang as well. Maybe the "Disturbing" won't arise or come.
Shouldn't over reacting it isn't it? yeah.. but I really don't wanna see her face. and with him. I feel "yuck, geli". Sorry u reading this, but this is how I really thought, and yeah, that "feel" is always there ever since it started.
That is why I try to distant myself from it.
Then I think again, wtf i'm posting this?? Yeah, is sucks to see someone u don't really wanna to see in a day where u want to enjoy.
but wtf with my confession in here right?
COZ IS MY BLOG!
Tell you what? After typing it, i feel comfortable a bit, feel like after typing it, don't wanna post it already. Why must I make a fuss about it??
Just a small matter. Yeah is a small matter, but it do "disturbed" me a while.
But guess what? I still gonna post it coz i already typed it.
Good Night
Lately, I think I been acting strangely.
Yes. Strangely.
Is it because of what?
Really no idea. Maybe the "foreveralone.jpng" topic in lowyat forum is really freaking me out xD
Must to be brave.
Must have the courage.
Must break free from my fear.
Didn't go back hometown this week. Tired of driving and i don't want to stuck myself in traffic jam. Hate traffic jam.
Tomorrow must play badminton. Entire week didn't play badminton already. Can feel the fat is growing around my body.
Lately really feel strange. Don't know what I should write.
Just hope I can really break free from my fear.
Okay, I wake up around 9 something as usual. Have my breakfast which is economic noodle. Go and play badminton.
Not a good game at all, hand still can feel the pain and is was getting worse.
I think I have to stop playing badminton for a week or two. =(
Come back home, FB, download games. Download download and FB, the light keep blinking.
Great, have to change a new tubelight myself.
Then clean my house.
Waited so long for my dinner as the restaurant is running out of food, the one inside PV5 one.
downloaded few types of downloader, all sucks, only xunlei excellent, in fact, it is running quite fast. Loving it.
Saw a girl posting emo and sad comment, no doubt another relationship broken. Good for her, she can find another better guy that really love her.
Purposely view his profile, saw those photos tagged him.
It really have a feeling after seeing those photos.
What kind of feeling?????
I still can't really figure it out.
Heart broken? Not really,don't feel sad.
Hate? Kind of, but not entirely.
I know, DISTURBING.
Yes, is kinda disturbing, is not sad or hate, but kinda "disturbing" knowing that the girl that dump you and go back with her ex and now is with your "previous" close friend.
As for the ex, of coz I don't really give a dam about it. but the so called "previous" close friend, the feel is kinda funny u know? hi, we were almost like buddies, hi, guess what? u are now in a relationship with my ex who dumped me and continue back her relationship with her ex.
I should feel great right? NO.
I should feel "oh shit, what the fuck you are doing? u are having a relationship with my ex who dump me and continue back previous relationship with her ex?" Kind of seriously. Kind of, not entirely.
I should feel worrying coz she dump me and go back with her ex. She is kinda dangerous to trust, did u even know her ex live very close to her? Most of her friend in SP is her ex's friend! Well, kinda have this feeling too but not entirely.
So is kinda of like a bit of worrying, a bit of shocking and a bit of hating too.
So I use the word "disturbing".
So the question come when a bitch doubt my so called own "labelled" good friends or buddies which i just used.
Can I congratulate my so called good friend/buddy for having a relationship with my ex who dumped me and continue back previous relationship with her ex???
Can I ignore the fact that she lied and cheated someone who is me of coz and say to my so called good friend/buddy that she is a good girl, wish you both can forever together???
Can I do that??? Am I be such ignorant till such level?
Can I feel comfortable with such situation??? Preventing nothing happen? "She cheated me?? No, she didn't. Hehe... we were just friends, she is a good girl, beautiful, patient and full of love heart". HELL NO! (I LOLed when writing this, LOL)
So THE REAL QUESTION! What I should do?
U know, the moment my so called buddy give me a shocking news like this, it really bothered me for quite a while, couple of months.
What I should do?
1) Pretend nothing happen?
2) Ignore them?
3) No more good friend or buddy anymore?
4) Promote my ex? (LOL for myself only kay? Not viewers)
5) Curse them???
What I did???
Let me recall,
Promote my ex? U kidding me? who will do such a thing?
Pretend nothing happen? How to pretend wor??? Almost everyday see this couple.
Ignore??? How to ignore wor, classmate everyday also see.
Curse them? Honestly, I did when I initially know it. LOL...
I actually, ignored my so called good friend/buddy, so no more good friend/buddy right? Kind of.
My fault? No. Happy? No. Sad? No. Hate? No. Disturbing? Yes. Bearable? A bit. But I better just disappear myself and learn how to accept this "disturb". That is why I unblock my ex, for quite long already.
It just feel strange. Why such thing can happen to me. I mean, don't u feel is kinda WTF?
Whatever. Don't really care much already.
u are my everything.
yes i'm drunk. and i'm loving it. it feel good, unconscious. wishing that i could fall in love again. try to know more friends.
try to mix up with different people.
If i have a gf, i will fold at least 1 thousand stars for her.
i will sing a song for her
too bad i'm not in love. I wish i'm in love, but i'm not. I'm just floating around. A loss soul to be honest. Enjoying single life.
Living alone. If i ever meet my true love.
Hello Blogspot. I been blogging for quite a while already. Hm... actually is all the way from 2009 I think. Not really sure.
Today my brother, Hoong went to Registry of Marriages. I actually feel really happy for him. Is very hard to maintain a relationship when both is separated physically when her gf is at singapore, but in the end they make it. Really feel great about it and all the years of relationship. Hope they can make it all the way. 
(posting picture in blog is a very very very rare)
Today off day, sat might need to go back to work, still unsure about it.
Today my umbrella spoiled already, making me moody. Not only that, i actually wasted 1 hour of driving around in the KL. Initially i thought i don't need the GPS as i think i should able to recognize the road. but nightmare came as raining come. Missed the turn. FML....
and when almost reach my home, my mind constantly thinking should i go to atm as i'm running out of cash. Make an illegal u turn and guess what? the fking atm out of service. really spoil my mood.
just now someone posted about beer. Suddenly making me itchy for beer, actually is itchy to get drunk. Why i want to get drunk? Happy, reduce stress, can emo too. can laugh for no reason, can get high, can make think lots of things. can rage out my revenge too xD just kidding, i'm not a violent person. although i still remember that night at besides The Library (recall back when she said she was drunk there too) when i drunk with others as they were celebrating someone's bday, i was really drunk, but i really know i'm still conscious. I know i vomit. and i also purposely consciously tell you to stop touching my girl, well my ex now. but that was a long time ago, UTAR 1st semester holiday.
Sometimes, when a person like me who is so desperate, there is no doubt that people like me will keep thinking what if this, what if that, although we have to publicly amid we don't, but sometimes, when we are alone, sad, tak ada mood, somehow we really think about it. What if...... what if i tell you that i know the road all along, just to purposely take the lengthy journey so i can sit besides you longer.
WHAT IF~~~~
u know what i'm recalling back all the old memories? when i log in my facebook on my netbook,
guess what?
my ex classmate ger account.
and guess what?
my ex is in the 1st post in news feed,
guess what?
i deleted her in FB for like 1 or 2 years already.
guess what?
I'm still single.
Guess what?
I was boring
Guess what?
I'm a very 8 gua person.
click it. view here, view there. Post a status in my ex classmate friend's post to at least warm her the seriousness of forgotten to log out.
Wait, this song really make me singing.
Tomorrow is Friday, not in a Friday mood as I might go to work on Sat. Still thinking.
okay good night, i am not going to continue with steven's story part 2 yet. Lazy to write. Tired already.