Ah Goh

1st of all, is going to be exam soon 3 more weeks. Starting to do revision already which is a good sign.
secondly, I'm starting back to play badminton already.
I will start having breakfast starting this coming Monday. Hopefully I will.
I will set a time frame. The latest I should sleep will be 2a.m. unless got special event.

Is been 4 months since the day we broke off. 8 months already from the day we started.
Tell me, where are you? Where is your heart? Tell me what are you doing? All the things you told me, all the things we done, all the time we had together. What are you doing now?

If we were still together, I already in bed if I'm in Ipoh and if I'm at Kampar I will be with you at your house(almost definitely) studying or playing.

Honest to yourself, is it worth it to make a decision like this?
All the pain, all the suffering all the crying and tears, is it worth it to make such a decision?
To my biggest nightmare, you had chosen him, not me.

It really hurt so bad when u told me u and him are together back.
It really do. I was so down, i had to force a smile just to take a picture with my mum. Tell me, why are u treating me like this?

Don't tell me I'm a third party. U told me u both broke off and it really did.
Remember that Tuesday night you walk to my house to seek explanation?

Why why why? Why we must end? Is there conflict? Distance? What went wrong? Why u love me during the 1st semester and your heart was starting to gone by 2nd semester and totally gone this semester?

It so different when i go to tesco. I don't buy any chips or chocolate anymore. When I'm free, I just go back ipoh, not rushing back Kampar already.
I never send a good night message or I love you or what so ever similar message for quite a while already.

u had leave me alone right here right now. Everyday try to find someone to talk, try to fill back the broken heart, go out meet people, meet him her him her him her,but nothing work out.

I had to force myself to keep thinking of him in order not to think that I can have u back. I hate myself to let myself to fall for u so deep. Why after months, I still think of u, why still purposely attract yr attention to read this?
I want u to care me, to love me, but u are not anymore.

I had no idea what is in yr mind already.
Maybe u don't care a shit about my blog, u still reject me in facebook.
I really wish that i can make a total blackout about all my thing from you. I can't.

I hate those love song which help to cure me to continue to have faith in this love.
I hate 为你而活. I HATE IT! I HATE IT SO MUCH! I still have lots of faith of having u back even when we broke off until 31-12-2009. How can u ask me to don't find you anymore? I rather ignore my parent and listen you, and u tell me this.

Before I end this post, i never end the relationship, don't ever criticize me for not loving u. U can criticize me about my personality but not my love toward you.
No one reading this blog. Maybe just you only.
I'm not seeking sympathy. Expressing my feeling into a blog. Not even to a single human. Maybe to u only since u are reading if u really are.