Of course is a boring day. god dam it.
as usual, afternoon wake up, Facebook 1st, go out take away 2 pack of economic rice, one for me, one for my brother. Just facing pc all day long.
As usual, 4.30 go out take dinner back home from my grandmother. Grandmother ask me buy nescafe, toilet roll, sugar. went tesco, don't have sugar. go jusco.
as i taken 3 pack of sugar, as i walking toward the cash counter, a girl keep looking at me. I was like, wtf, do I know u? but suddenly, only recall back she is my cousin sister. I was like OMFG!!!!!!!!!!! of coz it was raining, i wanted to rush back, just few talk, i go pay my stuff liao. Gosh, is like 2 or 3 years didn't saw them. She look beautiful. Me? LOL.. i dressed like some pokai people, long hair, nvr shave my mustache and beard. Haha... really shocked me.
doink doink didn't repond my facebook message, still not reply sms, don't answer my call. I guess I have to give up le. Besides, she told me she have a bf in the 1st place.
seriously, is so bored, dad and mum not at home, when dinner time, is just me and my brother occupying the table only. can u imagine it?
2010 almost end, let me summarize my year:
-break up with my ex, receive call from her bf, so much things happen, i glad i'm moving on..
- get a netbook thx to streamyx.
- android finally is mine.
-fixed become flexi in uTAR, thx for it, i don't need to be same class with my ex.
-go kl clubbing with jesus them, meet moses.
-fail my coursework 1 for BF, how can i forget this?
-and yeah, finally got my own credit card ^^ wohoo...
-been to KL few times, with sue wand, jesus, housemate, on my own 2 or 3 times
-went to Singapore with my mum and brother
-lots of birthday celebration
-i'm starting to play badminton and bought a badminton racket
-i'm addicted to those tech news, forum and blog
-addicted to FB's My Empire
-getting fatter
-last but not least, I'M SINGLE AND AVAILABLE XD
just come back from Kampar. Can't stand the boredom and the food any longer.
Just back at 8pm SHARP and fetch my little brother go out take away some food for him.
Again, boring again. Nothing to do. I wanted to go out now, I want to go KL now, couldn't find any kaki to follow me. How?
Lately really suffering financial meltdown as my bank account fall below 1k now at 8 hundred @@ still got lots of trip for me to go. want to go KL before christmas. If I go KL,i won't be going to the so called class trip, go kl, genting, melaka.
will consider melaka.. if financial visible.
Just now got lots of people talk about shooting star. remind me back the shooting star i saw last year Jun. talk about shooting star, is like a dream, as if it was a really dream come true, as if it was like " see shooting star, make a wish and it will come true" will really come true.
Well, it did come true, but never last that long. talk about shooting star is like a nightmare to me. Bring me some happiness, but bring sadness in the end. A very sad and very horrible ending. Wish I had never started it.
Should I regret? No. I should regret of never trust me instinct only.
Is already one year already. I'm still single. Where is my love? I already very hardworking to know "some" stranger ever since I break up with my ex.
the latest one is, well, okay, i admit it, she is very beautiful. I think I really fell in love with her, I never been so down when someone don't reply me, whenever she don't reply me, i will luan luan think, i will keep refreshing her profile to stay update. I will REALLY NEVER WAKE UP AT 8AM TO FETCH PEOPLE GO TO SCHOOL when i don't need to go school. But she able to make me did it.(don't talk about 8am, 10am i also need to think twice) I really hope she will ask me to fetch her to school.
it really make me go high when she give me muacks in the facebook message.
But I startng to loss faith already, she barely reply my message nowadays. probably one reply from one day.
it really hurt me. tear drop was fallen when i find out she reply her friend post instead of replying me. it was suppose all went well at the beginning. but now is getting colder. Maybe due to exam. Maybe she nvr interested in me.
I don't know.... anywhere, whatever happen, just hope history won't repeat itself.
Saturday just finish the exam.
I must say, i getting relief after finishing the exam.
Honestly, SFM was quite easy when comparing to past year paper and his mid term papers.
coursework get 22/40. I hope only get B is enough already.
i need lift up my CGPA.
Haiz.. Did u know that i'm getting falling in love with u already?? =( it hurt me when u don't reply.. why u always don't reply my message?
Am I worry too much? maybe I am. Maybe u are busying studying, maybe i should not bother you. haiz.. I'm clueless. Give me a sign.
Holidays??? tahu, no money, don't know how to holiday. thought of working. my bank account is decreasing drastically this month. Some more might going to Melaka this coming class trip. Don't know I will go or not.
gosh.
time goes so fast, september going to end already.
things seems like keep changing.
finish every coursework besides the so called moral campaign.
final exam coming soon. our FYP still never touch it at all.
haiz..
lately, I meet another new girl. I was amazed she added me.
at 1st, I was thinking just ignore it, but think again, seeing her same school at ktar.
then i approve it. never thought she is the girl that ask me the venue during the exam.
haha...
but this time, is a bit different. It has a different feel compare to last time.
what feel? I don't know. but i'm going to take my time to sort things out.
why i always meet those girls who are 1 year older than me de le?
sorry for my picture-less blog if anyone is reading.
i'm very lazy to upload it, unless i'm very happy.
if not mistaken, this wed will be our kempem begin. seriously, i don't give a dam about it. get 8/10 or 4/10, i don't care. coz in the end, is either pass or fail, what contribute so much? for my pride?
sorry, i won't waste my pride on this moral subject, especially to utar.
u are so kidding me if u going to think that asking uni student study moral, buat kempem will make them ethical.
seriously, i'm really lonely here, in my house, i never talk with housemate at all.
so silent. everyday open my music to make my life goes on.
without music, is just pure silent.
(thinking....) recalling back my old time, my old roommate, jason, meng cheng, my brother, my old housemate, my ex...
thinking all the things i been through, is a very long way, and is not the normal way.meet lots of people, in the end, i just delete their contact, coz i won't find them at all.
i remember there is a point where i almost turn to Kristian.
hoping there will be changes. Hoping someone will change my life.
gosh.. i think i'm going to sick again.
ulcer come out again... fucking dulan... hate it...
today car kena clam... paid RM20 for it.. fucking dulan...
today the tutor still the same, fucking noob, so noob till an extent he need student to help him to explain it to the student... fucking dulan.....
everyday goes by, i don't know what is my heart is thinking.
lots of things in my mind. and suddenly my ex appear in in msn asking me something.
tired of being class rep, tired of being a leader.
I'm not in a motivated mood to do such a things.
as for now i need to be told to do what.
i'm loss..
have a stupid subject call pendidikan moral, fucking dulan part is we need to do a kempen... wtf.... no idea about it.
SFM, with a fucking sohai lecturer and a super duper sohai tutor.
this sem can say goodbye to my 3.0+ liao..
i'm tired. i'm loss, i'm nobody soul, anyone can simply just take me away, just hope someone can just come take me away.
last 2 semester in Kampar.. So fast..
today is 19/10/2010. I remember ............ the painful period i had last year.
(i stopped 20 minutes)
just read back what i wrote on my 1st post on my other blog "Just me"(please bear in mind, is a private blog, not for letting other to read, for my own record only)
I feel I was kinda immature during that time after reading back, but one thing won't change, I still feel the pain, can I use the word "suffering"?
silently suffering. I remember it...Is been almost a year. My determination is vanishing already.
(it wasn't part of my motive to write those, just come in my mind when i look at today's date)
what to write?
Holiday went to KL with housemate
then go again with 2nd school classmate
quite enjoyable actually..
long time didn't go out to have a real good time
Sometimes, I don't know what am I thinking.
sometimes, I can be very resistive towards knowing stranger, but sometimes, i treat stranger as if it is my friend.
Of coz when know each other is friend la. But sometimes, the mood just change, it just change, I can't define myself.. i found myself kind of unpredictable.
Sat meet a girl, haha.... a ipoh girl. Added her quite long ago but never chat amd finally few days ago start chatting.. Never plan to really chat with her, but since i was boring, then start chating lo.. didn't expected to chat so much stuff..
speaking of girls, i think the last time i really meet a girl(initiated on my own) was that 3 leng lui..
haha... is like almost a year ago.. dated january..
I think I wasted lots of time...
Time to move forward
I will throw that bottle away..
I will...
will it really broke if i throw it?
looking at it now..
it has so many stars inside..
it so valueable..
.............tear dropping..
folding star was consider "bai chi" in my mind in the past.
how on earth i become so bai chi...
1.30 already(started at 12.30).. should i drive out and drop it out??
exam coming next week, this semester is probably my worst exam preparation ever. Until now, i'm haven't confidently say I will score in any subjects i'm taking.
Advanced Taxation
Advanced Accounting Practice
Human Resource Management
E-commerce
I hope I can get 3 As..
hahahaha... AT get A- in coursework, hopefully get A- too in final
AAP haven't know yet. But I'm very confident is accounting paper. I just need more practice.. 2moro will know my progress when I revise my AAP
HRM??? depend how much i can memorize.. Hopefully I can.
EC??? u suck EC.. this subject i hate it as much as i hate audit.
that all for my study progress for this semester.
and RMP die hard liao.. hopefully, luck is with me/my team.
is already 1 year since the 1st day we were together, is been 9 months she leave me. 9 months... I been alone for 9 months.. without yr love... yet... I still think of she..When I will stop thinking of her???
Anywhere, good news, I become Android user(finally).. haha.. really having fun with the phones. 1170, 700 financially supported by my mum as a reward for my result achievement along the years in college till now.
3 years ago, I never thought I will become a good driver, never thought of having a car to drive, never thought i will have my own pc, never thought of having my own netbook, nvr thought of having a smartphone. Finally, everything is in my hand.
one thing still missing. Love.... I really personally feel i tried my best, I don't think I did any wrong, until she leave me... I always thought, always treat yr gf nicely, listen to her, be a good man. Everything will be fine. I guess I was wrong.
NO ONE CAN JUDGE MY LOVE TOWARD HER, beside her, she can judge me only. F*CK THOSE bystander who even criticize me. I still remember EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU who accused me I'm a barbarian.
Anywhere, is the past already. sometimes, i keep thinking, i should move on, the next moment, i will think of hoping she will come back to me. If she... everytime this happen, i will remind myself, she dump me because of yr ex, she still love her ex. I will go view that bastard fb page, see "in relationship with zhen juin". yes...
forget her...she don't want me.. she want that guy only...don't dream anymore ah goh.. my best friend told me to break up when i know something was not right, he was right, but i didn't listen. jess told me I'm stupid to ask her back, she was right, yet i still do that sometimes. emily told me to move on, she was right, but i didn't listen. i just can't....... or can I????
will i fall in love again? don't know... hope i will....
This song recall back some old memory.
lyrics version.
Is been a long time didn't write blog already.
Now is year 3 semester 1 already, last semester was just moderate, but CGPA dropped slightly.
Got a free netbook from streamyx after registering streamyx uni cool pack. A cacat netbook I can say, it slow, is small. But is really portable to bring anywhere.
My brother now living with me in the same house but different room.
My phone's screen have dead pixels, yet I haven't fix it. Haiz... Lazy to take it to repair.
Sometimes, I feel the world is very unfair. Although I have to accept things will always not going in our ways, but sometimes it really hard to swallow the truth.
Is been half years after break off. My feeling now???
Hard to tell, I do get back my ordinary life, but some how my heart will feel lonely. All the girls I like to be with are all got bf already. Haiz.. sad... Even I meet a girls which I really interested also in relationship with someone already few days ago.
My feeling toward ex?? hard to express. My mind sometimes will think of her coming back to my life, but I know I will not, I should not consider or accept someone who cheated their lovers. Sometimes, I still thinking why she would leave me, did I did something wrong? The bottle of stars is still with me. I will throw away one day. When memories flash back, I loss count how many time I had beg her to come back my life even I found out she cheated me. But I can assure there will be no next time already.
Getting the feeling of where I started in the beginning. Continue living my life to get the most out of everything and keep waiting the right one to come or waiting myself to fall in love with someone. In the meant time, keep listening songs, enjoy when I can or emo when I'm lonely in the room coz I always wanted to share my life with my the one I love and the one who love me. Will it really happen? I don't know.
My 1st relationship, was a really hurt. Why must I always with a girl I love but never be with them? College was like that, now university also like this, but this time even worst. Last time was a simple I don't love you. Now, all kinds of Lie!!!! All the things she done behind me, I still feel the hurt thinking back now, sleep with another guy behind me. Accuse me back I was third party. Cheated me but ask me to keep secret. Can't believe she turn into such a girl. I was angry and hurt to an extent, till now, everytime i recall back, I still feel the hurt. I feel in love with total of 5 girls till now, 1st one was form 1, 2nd and 3rd was form 5, 4th was at college, 5th was her.(excluded interested)
CAN YOU GET AWAY FROM MY LIFE??? I hate to see u appearing in my life. U lie me, even ask me to wait u even u don't even mean it and talk like u never say those words!
I should forget her, but the impact is so much.
When I will really stop mentioning about her? I don't know. She keep appearing in school. I don't wish her luck anymore. I wish she would just withdraw. Go go back to yr lovely Kang, go back SP.
Hsiz. Still got 1 year of student life. Must fully utilize it before graduate.
I would really love to love someone, but as for now, I really don't have the feel to love anyone. I can go out with other girls with one on one to tackle the girls, but I really can't create the love feeling and some of them also got bf.
If I have a good roommate or housemate, maybe I can forget or don't emo easily. I really miss my ex roommate, thx to him, I really have a good college life(of coz ah zheng them too). Honestly, I'm really lonely all the time in the house. Nobody to talk to. Feel so lonely. I just need someone.
1st of all, is going to be exam soon 3 more weeks. Starting to do revision already which is a good sign.
secondly, I'm starting back to play badminton already.
I will start having breakfast starting this coming Monday. Hopefully I will.
I will set a time frame. The latest I should sleep will be 2a.m. unless got special event.
Is been 4 months since the day we broke off. 8 months already from the day we started.
Tell me, where are you? Where is your heart? Tell me what are you doing? All the things you told me, all the things we done, all the time we had together. What are you doing now?
If we were still together, I already in bed if I'm in Ipoh and if I'm at Kampar I will be with you at your house(almost definitely) studying or playing.
Honest to yourself, is it worth it to make a decision like this?
All the pain, all the suffering all the crying and tears, is it worth it to make such a decision?
To my biggest nightmare, you had chosen him, not me.
It really hurt so bad when u told me u and him are together back.
It really do. I was so down, i had to force a smile just to take a picture with my mum. Tell me, why are u treating me like this?
Don't tell me I'm a third party. U told me u both broke off and it really did.
Remember that Tuesday night you walk to my house to seek explanation?
Why why why? Why we must end? Is there conflict? Distance? What went wrong? Why u love me during the 1st semester and your heart was starting to gone by 2nd semester and totally gone this semester?
It so different when i go to tesco. I don't buy any chips or chocolate anymore. When I'm free, I just go back ipoh, not rushing back Kampar already.
I never send a good night message or I love you or what so ever similar message for quite a while already.
u had leave me alone right here right now. Everyday try to find someone to talk, try to fill back the broken heart, go out meet people, meet him her him her him her,but nothing work out.
I had to force myself to keep thinking of him in order not to think that I can have u back. I hate myself to let myself to fall for u so deep. Why after months, I still think of u, why still purposely attract yr attention to read this?
I want u to care me, to love me, but u are not anymore.
I had no idea what is in yr mind already.
Maybe u don't care a shit about my blog, u still reject me in facebook.
I really wish that i can make a total blackout about all my thing from you. I can't.
I hate those love song which help to cure me to continue to have faith in this love.
I hate 为你而活. I HATE IT! I HATE IT SO MUCH! I still have lots of faith of having u back even when we broke off until 31-12-2009. How can u ask me to don't find you anymore? I rather ignore my parent and listen you, and u tell me this.
Before I end this post, i never end the relationship, don't ever criticize me for not loving u. U can criticize me about my personality but not my love toward you.
No one reading this blog. Maybe just you only.
I'm not seeking sympathy. Expressing my feeling into a blog. Not even to a single human. Maybe to u only since u are reading if u really are.
Is a sad day. Although I put a smile in my face, it really hurt inside.
I FAIL MY COURSEWORK 1.............................!!!!!!!!!!
Never fail any coursework before until this time around.
In the middle of the semester. it is obvious that every students gonna very busy about their tests, assignments and presentations. Finished 4 tests in 2 weeks, still got 5 tests for the next 5 weeks plus 3 assignments with 1 assignment due date is next monday which is now currently in progress.
All I can say is that these 2 weeks is so so so so dam busy and tiring. Due to CNY, we were relaxed for 1 week b4 the busy schedule which make us more lazy toward studying.
Finished 4 tests, don't think I gonna get high score. Haiz.. As expected.
1 assignment to be due this monday. Just now i only start doing it. Luckily is not a hard one, but a bit technical in term of finishing the assignment.
Tomorrow going to KL club one night and then the next morning come back to Kampar. It is going to be a very exhausting trip but it going to be a very fun too. I already very exhausted, need tor rest were to play hard. Hopefully tomorrow will finish my part of my assignment.
Lately I been waking up late.really late. Haiz... Sometimes I hope I can just like a computer. Delete mean gone. My plan at the beginning of the semester is totally a failure.
FInish CNY le.. Only managed to visit one of my friend'house only with ang pow money rated RM10 but I loss RM30 something in his house, still consider net loss ^^.
This year got go to relative house visit during the 1st day although saturday night didn't have reunion dinner due to the fact my relatives boycotted my dad. Ang Pow money just keep getting lesser, luckily dad and mum got give a lot.^^
This year, didn't have vacation during CNY but my mum and I do managed to go to Singapore to fetch my Big bro back home. Don't consider this trip as vacation since the main objective was to fetch my bro back home. Start the journey at 6p.m. Wed, reached there 3a.m. Thursday morning. Go back 10a.m. Friday. Reach Ipoh 10p.m. due to visiting my mum' sis in Johor.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=151124&id=633148400
this the link.
Lazy to upload it.
Is been 2month already. I was sad to see that she was in relationship with him again. It really tearing me apart honestly. When she called me, she even say I will have bright future relationship with someone. Sometimes I just wish I can just throw away the stars. Thinking of her really make me sad, coz I still miss her very much honestly. Sometimes I just wish someone will show up and take me away. It is killing me. I need help.
Today I wake up around 2pm. So long didn't sleep for so late liao, loving it. Coz that week i was so bz. sleep so little.
Then after lunch(alone), I plan to do my tutorials. When I was cleaning up all the notes i found out a paper was on the floor for 2 weeks already. 
Pick up and realize is actually was my Diploma certificate. Hahahaha
Then I was wanting to keep it into my black file.
When i open it. Feel strange. WHy it has attached with pens?
Then I only realize this file I was used to keep my IRC stuff inside. Remind me how active I was involved in IRC during my last semester. Although there is no more IRC already, I still have to thank it to help me earn 400 something within months with less than 24 hours of work. Example of the files:
Quite a lots of papers honestly, but i throw it liao since it is useless already.
After search a while, finally i find my true black filer to keep my important papers.
The 1st page is my SPM result.
Looking back the previous result, I was a very weak student honestly. Look at my form 1 result!
So terrible. Average score was less than 50 mark only.
Form 3 was even worse, all D, no A at all. So if u know me well since secondary school, U know i'm not a good student at all. Hahahaha...
My form 4 result was no different compare to form 3
Then next is my SPM result.
Managed to get 3 A1.
Ask u can see my past result. I'm not a smart student.
Then the next page was my TAR college result.
Big different isn't it compare to my secondary school result?
Some more I cheat all the time during my secondary school even when SPM! LOL!
Maybe it was environment different, I was with a gang of KL people, make me more confident, some more is in English, and my class got some scholarship. A competitive environment which make me more hardworking than usual. I was keep thinking, if he can, why can't I.
As u can see, my highest CPA was Year 2 semester 2. However it was the most disappointed result. Why? Because I was so confident that I can beat her. But she get all As. four A, two -A. I was totally knock out by her result. As u can see again, my next semester was quite terrible coz i give up already. Lost liao..Hahaha... I was so close to get distinction.
Looking back previously, feel my life was keep on changing. Especially friends. All friends around me keep changing. Except Leonard where i still manage to maintain good relationship, other was just come in and gone.( Bear in mind leonard was missing too when I was in KL for 2 year although everytime when i go back ipoh got find him)
Life is just like a book, got chapters.
1st it was my secondary school. it was the most memorable during my form 5. Until now I still feel 5V1 was the best class I ever had. Hahahaha
My college was not bad, quite good, nice classmate. Beside classmate, I meet lots of people in the college. Really had learn lots of things in KL, it was totally change my perception about life already.
It was really adventure chapter in my life studying in KL. Manage to go lots of places, really learn a lot.
I dare to say KL people mindset is much better than Ipoh people. Much better. I love KL, I will not continue my life in Ipoh anymore, but I will not forget the place where i was born.^^
Now my chapter is UTAR ask u can see it in the 3rd picture.
KAMPAR UTAR. A kampung place. Compare to previously, sure is not comparable, but hope I can have a memorable one as i had say during the 1st month of this blog.( Bear in mind I wrote blog since 2008, due to fact I had offended my previous classmate, I delete everything)
Tomorrow going to have one day trip to KL. Long long time didn't have one day trip liao.
I'm optimistic about tomorrow. Hope I can buy some pants^^
Suddenly feel my life getting more and more bored already. I didn't talk to anyone as much I was previously.Everyday at home just facing the 22 inch monitor, keep alter the wallpaper, personalized it. Haiz. So boring.
I know I was having my great time previously. I enjoy it. Is gone already. I know it won't come back already. Another a year and a half in this stupid place I be gone again, start a new life somewhere else which almost 100% is KL 1st.
Really miss my old days when i was at Prima Setapak. Haiz. Had almost a perfect combination of roommate ever I will get. Honestly, I have no idea what I want. Just want to have fun, want to do the things I want to do. Long long time didn't meet all my old friends. Going shut down my pc, try to insert my old harddisk see can restore any old file.
Last night celebrate karen's birthday. It was well notable days. Long long time didn't drink beer le.. Loving it. Sorry if i over bite yr tongue. Haha.... I'm sure it wasn't.
Next day, sitting at this boring room, wondering do what. Just now go out have dinner with my classmate.
when we were having our dinner, some conversation come across my attention.
KC:" u all can take RapidKL to timesquare ger ma, u don't know which bus just ask people"
Sue wand:" har, what about take taxi?.........."
Li theen:"........"
Then they were talking about the timesquare clothes.
I ask:" go timesquare buy clothes?"
sue wand:" yeah"
I"when?"
Sue wand:" sunday.Why? You want to go?"
I:"Sure! Why not? lets go on sunday!"
A very boring day and weekends, nothing to do, suddenly go KL le this sunday.
I never think of it at all, but suddenly come across my mind. Why not?
hehehe... Hope I can buy some pants, that all.
Will upload picture after Sunday. Hehe, really long time didn't take photo. What a great time to have a One day KL trip. It remind me back when i study KL, how i keep travel around ipoh to KL,KL to Kampar, ipoh, then back KL.hahahahaha...
Too bad they all went back Penang, if can go together with sue wand them would be great. Anywhere, I'm sure got next time. Hehehe... That all from me today.
Eminem the best obviously^^
[ Chorus ] *Drake*
It may not mean nothing to y'all
But understand nothing was done for me
So I don't plan on stopping at all
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
I'm shutting shit down in the mall
And tellin' every girl she the one for me
And I ain't even planning to call
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
[ Verse 1 ] *Drake*
Last name Ever, first name Greatest
Like a sprained ankle boy, I ain't nothin' to play with
Started off local, but thanks to all the haters
I know G4 pilots on a first name basis
And your city faded off to brown, Nino
She insists she got mo' class, we know
Swimmin' in the money, come and find me, Nemo
If I was at the club you know I ball, chemo
Dropped a mixtape, that shit sounded like an album
Who'd have thought a country wide tour be the outcome
Labels want my name beside an X like Malcolm
Everybody got a deal, I did it without one
Yeah, nigga, I'm about my business
Killin' all these rappers, you would swear I had a hitlist
Everyone who doubted me is askin' for forgiveness
If you ain't been a part of it, at least you got to witness, Bitches
[ Chorus ] *Drake*
It may not mean nothing to y'all
But understand nothing was done for me
So I don't plan on stopping at all
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
I'm shutting shit down in the mall
And tellin' every girl she the one for me
And I ain't even planning to call
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
[ Verse 2 ] *Kanye West*
I used to have hood dreams, big fame, big chains
I stuck my dick inside this life until that bitch came
And went hard all fall like the ball teams
Just so I could make it rain, all spring
Y'all seen my story, my glory
I had raped the game young, you could call it statutory
When a nigga blow up, they gon' build statues for me
Old money, Benjamin Button, what? nothin'
Nuh, superbad chicks giving me McLovin
You would think I ran the world like Michelle's husband
You would think these niggas know me when they really doesn't
Like they was down with the old me, no you fuckin' wasn't (fuckin' wasn't)
Uh, you're such a fuckin' loser
He ain't even go to class, Bueller
Trade the Grammy plaques just to have my granny back
'member she had that bad hip like a fanny pack?
Chasing the stardom'll turn you to a maniac
All the way in Hollywood and I can't even act
They pull their cameras out, and God damn they snap
I used to want this thing forever, y'all can have it back
[ Chorus ] *Drake*
It may not mean nothing to y'all
But understand nothing was done for me
So I don't plan on stopping at all
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
I'm shutting shit down in the mall
And tellin' every girl she the one for me
And I ain't even planning to call
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
[ Verse 3 ] *Lil Wayne*
Ok, hello it's the martian, Space Jam Jordans
I want this shit forever, wake up and smell the garden
Fresher than the harvest, step up to the target
If I had one guess, then I guess I'm just New Orleans
And I will never stop like I'm running from the cops
Hopped up in my car, and told my chauffeur to the top
Life is such a fuckin' rollercoaster then it drops
But what should I scream for? this is my theme park
My mind shine even when my thoughts seem dark
Pistol on my side you don't wanna hear that thing talk
Let the King talk, check the price and pay attention
Lil Wayne, thats what they gotta say or mention
I'm like Nevada in the middle of the summer
I'm restin' in the lead, I need a pillow and a cover
Shhh, my foot's sleepin on the gas
No break pads, no such thing as last
[ Chorus ] *Drake*
It may not mean nothing to y'all
But understand nothing was done for me
So I don't plan on stopping at all
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
I'm shutting shit down in the mall
And tellin' every girl she the one for me
And I ain't even planning to call
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
[ Verse 4 ] *Eminem*
There they go, back in stadiums as Shady spits his flow
Nuts they go, macadamian, they go so ballistic whoa
We can make them look like Bozos
He's wonderin' if he should spit this slow
Fuck no! Go for broke
His cup just runneth over, oh no
He aint had a buzz like this since the last time he overdosed
They've been waiting patiently for Pinocchio to poke his nose
Back into the game and they know
Rap will never be the same as before
Bashin' into the brains of these hoes
And establishin a name as he goes
The passion and the flame is ignited
You can't put it out once we light it
This shit is exactly what the fuck that I'm talking bout when we riot
You dealin' with a few true villians
Who stand inside of the booth truth spillin'
And spit true feelings until our tooth fillings
Come flying up out of our mouths, now rewind it!
Payback muthafucka for the way that you got at me
So how's it taste?
When I slap the taste outta your mouth
With the bass so loud that it shakes the place
I'm Hannibal Lecter, so just incase
You was thinkin of savin face
You aint gonna have no face to save
By the time I'm through with this place, so Drake
[ Chorus ] *Drake*
It may not mean nothing to y'all
But understand nothing was done for me
So I don't plan on stopping at all
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
I'm shutting shit down in the mall
And tellin' every girl she the one for me
And I ain't even planning to call
I want this shit forever mayne ('ever mayne, 'ever mayne)
sunday was a very happy day.
now i'm not already.
they all put me aeroplane. Haiz say no $ don't 12 club liao.
Beside, today went to lecture don't have notes, break time already went back liao.
Notes haven'ready for 2moro audit tutorial. Haiz
Planned monday is a study day.
But i never do any single tutorial
My old cannot be recover, plug in, but cannot read it. Haiz..
All those memory, all those pic, all those video. Suddenly miss my old time. Miss the life i had in KL. What i having now is totally not what i wanted except the degree.
Miss my roommate. Miss the 15th floor view of KLCC. I miss the night movie, I miss the everyday fifa 08 and dota with my roommate. I miss watching football on9.
Living alone seems to be very lonely.
Listening chinese song. Those song as old as when i was form 1. Remember the good old days. I almost forgotten i once have a maid and a driver. Looking back how i was previously and compare now. I really change a lot already. Meet my old friend last week on facebook. My good old(arguable my best friend during my form 1 and 2 time) friend, living in new york. I wonder maybe one day i have a chance i will also go there live.
Still got one old friend missing. My primary good friend. When i think of old time, it remind me my diary. So so so long didn't write diary already. Since in KL, after half year in KL, i didn't write any diary already.
I come this far already, but actually i start my life with no hope or dream at all, just passing through. When u change, everything change.
today really happy. 1st is federrer win the australian grand slam. really long time didn't see tennis liao. see then he win.. good man.
next thing is i buy a new bag. hahhaha...
i realise i really enjoy shopping ger lo..
just that i had not enough money to shop only.
hahaha
i buy it actually i need to change myself. want myself to have a new look. got new shoes, new clothes. now new bag. I still want additional new shoes. want new nike pr adidas shoes tim..
hahaha.. maybe next few month only buy when i have enough surplus money.
Just finish drinking a can of beer already.
really high a bit. keep listen club song.
Too bad she didn't on9 already.
Since i know u will read my blog soon.
actually all along, my so called "she" is actually refer to you.
After that friday night, after i think so long.. think from 12am till 4 something. i really sort thing out already. There will be no more zhen juin in my heart already.
I set myself free from you. I searching, and i found she. to be honest with myself. Things don't seem going well, but still got lots of time, we will see how. But i'm optimistic.. Don't know what she think lo...
Honestly, i think i buy a new bag just to not to embarrass she when i sit with her. hahahaha.. I keep on saying tuesday coz i wanted to sit with u.. HAHAHAHAHAHa
i should not say that, but this is my blog. NObody read my blog de.. so i assume she will not read so i write out.
Just really hope something will happen. I'm kinda a guy who love to be honest and straight forward. write so much also useless. see how i can work things out with she.
Good night.^^
for some reason i really happy today. Hope can invite she to clubbing this wed although chances are really small. Sure will not as fun as penang nor KL. Just hope can have some fun with she.
How many shots you can take? ^^
2nd post of the day. Really a bored day. Alone in the house. So lonely. Just now went out Khakabo with ah zheng them for the entire afternoon. Now at home, raining, nobody at house, no sound at all except my speaker and the rain.
Anywhere, plan to do my tutorial already. Is time to get back my ordinary hardworking way. This semester must score as much A as possible. Is hard, but achievable. One more, no C. Must just B or A.
I need get at least 3.0 CGPA, but better around 3.5
My heart really mess up already. I'm thinking of you.
Still at Kampar. Haiz. Nothing to do. Don't want to go back home coz no mood to go back. I will just emo in home, so better just stay at kampar.
Shocked. Yesterday after doing my research. I really shocked. I can't believe these things will happen.
I was thinking to give it another try, but now,..... I don't want to say about it anymore.
I really need time. I need to hang out with others to erase my memories.
Back to Kampar, the strangest things is I play really less game. Didn't even open my online game. Maybe today will since 4/5 of my housemates didn't go back. The line will be good, but now is not. Don't know why.
It strange that once i received the sms, I quickly forward to she and her gang, not even a single of my classmate until now.
For yr info, there is a quick link to yr facebook and blog in my browser. hahaha... ^^
Back to Kampar already. Starting to boring again. Emo-ing to be honest. Lonely. The feel is not the same anymore. Just now listen the song we use to listen together non-stop. Tears was fallen. Not because of you, because of the song, and it remind me how I was previously. Now listening to gary's song, as usual the two songs i keep listening.
Tomorrow going to school 9a.m. to check out the timetable. Don't know to join which group yet. with she? might not be due to different timetable we have, we shall know later tomorrow.
Now watching 爱我还是他. It remind me how many hundred times i listen previously. It remind me the playlist full of sad songs. I was really sad, but I insist keep going.
It already the past, my pc already format already. Its gone. Not that i purposely do it but I have to. Still remember the song by Blue-breath easy,你到底爱谁,爱到最后一秒也不委曲, 无辜. These were the song i keep listen all days long from morning until i sleep, it still keep playing. But my favorite that time was 爱我还是他. I love to listen the last sentences, because it was so true.
I'm doing nothing except listen song watching music video.
It really so different already. I will change, I'm changing my life into a better life.
Today went to Yik Fong with leonard to get our salary.
Got my cash already. So far haven't spend yet. When new semester open will decide how I gonna spend it. Though of coloring my hair (to in line with my near changing life). Not sure of coloring yet, but i think i gonna cut my hair, my hair now look like a bunch of grass. B4 i go yik fong. I heard a old song by robbie williams-feel
Really nice.
Really love it.
I just want to feel, a real love.
Finish pc fair job yesterday.
I was so happy yesterday finally i finish my job, coz i hate selling cheap stuff.
It make me like cheating someone.
After finish the job, it was already around 11.30p.m.
Then we go celebrate mun joon bday at station 1.
Then when I go back, have a good chat with she, but realize "she" deleted me from her friend list in facebook. I was shocked! Send messages to her ask her why, still haven't reply and haven't open her phone yet, seems like she want to total block me. Tell me don't leave the T17, but now she doing this, really a double standard.
But thx to she, I can say i still happy. Hehe...hahaha... ^^
Today wake up around 9a.m.
Don't know what to do, play games.
Haven't bath yet even now almost noon already.
I'm really clueless now.
I need someone.
I want to be alone but not alone all the time, I need some space for myself but not entirely, just need a little space for alone only. I always need someone at my side and i'm needing it. I'm so alone in my heart. Feel life is not meaning when my heart is empty.
Don't know what to do.
Don't know which direction to go.
I really need someone.
In the meant time, playing game is best temporary cure for me.
So tata..
Is 2010 le.
Today went to work, 1st time working in pc fair in ipoh.
It was my 1st time so i was very blur, so does other newcomers too.
work from 12 till 6pm today, next 3 days will be 10 till 10 ger lo. SO not so free to facebooking and msn.
When other ask me how old i am? my friend say 16.
Suddenly it remind me I'm really getting old already. I still feel like i'm 17/18 years old. The funny part is everyone also believe i'm 16. @@. Is my look that young?
This year going to 21 already. Old already. I know i changed already. I just hope these changes can lead me into a better life in future. I don't want to suffer.
Still got 1 and half year as a student.
Really need to appreciate it.
That why i also didn't work much already.
I really don't want to work. So lazy. But i say i do it so i will finish my job.
I'm still searching the one i love and the one who love me.
Where are you?
Today finally can smile le when playing Fifa2010. Can smile chatting with friends, can smile even talking to her too.
Is a good sign. I want to move forward.
I want to socialize to everyone.
I been very active in Facebook already.
Find old friends and new friends from Ipoh to Australia. Haha...
They say love can develop as time goes by if we have the passion and make the right move. I will about to find out.
I just google search you already.
Hahaha...
Can't believe I found yr blog. HAHAHAHA....
Tomorrow read everything.
hehe..
Anywhere good nite.
I don't know what to say already.
I know i should let go, but i just can't do it.
I never had that strong feeling before.
I scare it will gone forever and it never reoccur again.
I really don't know do what.
I was angry, i accused her.
It was my fault to simply accuse someone without think probably.
I was angry, emo, disappointed.
I'm not now.
Its over.
Just wait and see.
What come around goes around.
I will not look backward already
I will look forward.
I will try, I'm trying.