today (friday) wake up, have a strange dream. very strange.
feel quite real, but quite blur, saw someone, holding someone.
feel..... strange, as if i going to fall in love.
out of sudden, alarm clock ring.
bath, eat bread, walk down to ground floor from 8th floor. walk to my car, drive around LRT station to find car park, walk to LRT station, buy ticket, step in LRT, wait, watch. reached, walk to office
Office so quiet. so little people. the most noisy one went outstation to check stock with another colleague and the manager. 2 colleague on leave. basically the ac department left not so many people. so quiet. Don't get use to it.
work until 7.30, beh tahan, chit chat with colleague. talk about UTAR and future career.
go back, do the samething expect from my car straight go GK for dinner.
Movie, then steven corner. then i'm back.
really have a strange feeling.
I would do anything for love~~
I really do....
I won't simply appear there, I won't simply do a thing, every single thing I do, there is a motive behind it.
Sometimes, if necessary, "make" an accident to make it as if it is so real.
If i invite u for dinner/lunch, i cherish our friendship or i want to chase u.
If I constantly message u during night time, I want to chase u.
If i constantly find u in FB and SMS, i really serious with u.
If I write something weird here, is because of u.
If i ask weird question, is because i want to know more about u.
I will do anything for love. I really do and I did.
Will I do it again?
God please me the courage and strength to do so.
and I'm not a gay.
Guess what after 4 years of driving, i really crashed to someone's car, taxi actually.
until now, still got a bit of phobia, scare scare ger feeling. haiz.. loss RM200 to the taxi, i know is not worth that much, but i was in a rush, it was raining, i don't know anything about car, it was morning, nobody answer call. haiz. strange enough, my car seems to be fine.
worked 6 weeks already, can't wait to get my next salary.
besides that, what i want to write is something strange happen to me lately.
I really don't know why i have these "blue" dreams lately, i mean is been consecutive night already. i will suddenly wake up in the middle of morning, around 4 or 5am. Really no idea.
wake up, work eat work eat facebook sleep..
repetitive tasks for weeks already. tried to bring some joy, yum cha, badminton, still, don't feel like really enjoying it. Need some alcohol, but i haven't buy any alcohol yet. When i will drunk again?
and, i haven't eat laksa for sooooooo lonnnnnnngggggg liao.
miss the good foods.
long time didn't update my blog, here i am, writing blog about my life.
sometimes i really curious who is really reading my blog, if any.
work for 2 weeks already. how to describe? hm.... ok lo. normal lo.. just work.
am i tired? who don't get exhausted for working?
environment good? quite.
challenging? not really, but yes for freshie like me xD
learning? yup.
2 weeks in KL, is not the same as previously, but expected. now working guy, not student anymore. Trying to adapt my new environment.
I still keep thinking, did I make the right choice of living alone in a room. Quite boring, especially all the housemates always missing in the house. Think of finding another roommate to come in, but scare later he can't tahan my "music", haha....
plus long time don't have a roommate liao, scare don't get use to it.
My feeling? hm... complicated. u know. everything i write blog, most probably i dam happy or i'm emo, and i'm emo, listening back all the sad songs.
i don't want another dejavu anymore, i really don't want. keep all the fake hope away. I don't want it. Is been a year and a half of single life.
how to describe it? Am i desperate? Yes I am. Honestly, all this long, although i don't have any feel for the ex, but somehow why those memories will come across my mind? meet countless girls, tried to chase some of them, but again, i don't want another dejavu. Why ah? somehow all the girls i'm interested got bf ger le?
Getting tired of it. sometimes, my mum's "u don't want have marriage already?" will pop up in mind, doubting will i ever get marry a woman. I don't want to be single forever.
haiz... trying my best enjoy my life. yes i enjoy my life, somehow, that feeling will come. feeling of loneliness. feeling of without love. i don't think i have any true friend already. maybe got one, still in kampar. Just missing one thing only.
Hello, long time no see.
1st time 1st, i'm graduating in time, finish last semester and pass all subjects but with terrible result, GPA was 2.65 overall CGPA was 2.78
haiz. so so so terrible.
Now worrying about employment, don't know accept which company, applied quite a lot of companies already until i forgotten which company i applied.
so far only Padini called me up for interview, but not quite very interesting coz is not related to accounting, is a retail trainee programme which not related to accounting i guess, but anyway, i will go for interview and check it out, if it has a good prospect, will take the job.
Is very strange, don't know why when I'm drunk or have some alcohol already, I'm starting to feel emo. Feel like needing someone, want to hold someone. Why ah? just like last night, I was actually wanted to find her and hold her and dance with her. But somehow, I guess my principles is stronger than my self greed.
just now in the afternoon i meet a girl, chat a quite long. hehe..
After dinner, i went for steamboat as well, u know what? I actually had my dinner at home already, but why i'm still going for the steamboat? coz the girl i just meet. but in the end quite a bit disappointed coz she was going to jusco with another guy, i assume going for movie? heart was kinda like ouch, sakit.. Whatever fine.
Then after that went to euro house. I say, is a nice place to hang out. Have some beers. And yeah, kit yee, haha.. finally able to see her face to face. I feel she is quite outgoing too. Good to hang around with these people, too bad the girl has to go jusco. haiz...................................................................
Whatever...............................................
and yeah, i'm a bit drunk, but i like it. so i can sleep, hope i won't think so much, but i still think so much.
last night was probably the most awesome night i ever had. SKL celebrities night was much better than any ball by utar or ktar.
then after that, pergi barroom clubbing. have a few bottles only i think,3 or 4 bottles of beer.
Must be wonder, why i write this post's title "a sense of hope"?
Well, it might be normal to any ordinary person, but is kinda special to me. coz such "it" never happen. even just some simple thing, it give me a sense of hope.
but i don't want dejavu,,,,,,,,,,,,,
really don't....................
no...............
Long time didn't really update my blog. Suddenly, feel like I don't want to leave my school life. Don't know why. Although I miss KL so much, but.. feel like... I won't posting so much stuff in Facebook when working.
Lately I been keep skipping class @@ don't know why, but I think I almost skipped the entire week of class! I only attend MADM tutorial class only for the entire week.
Just now see lots of people posting lots of pictures with their classmate. Then I think of myself. I was like, wait a minute, why we don't have ger. Well, actually the answer is simple, I think we all know it.
Although our class do have the class trip, but around 19/29 students from my class is going. Well, is more than half, but not convincing enough in term of majority. The organizer is Peak Swee, she so good, help us organizing everything. But to my shock, she was saying that some people was stabbing her at her back for the trip. Well... I'm not surprise at all. Coz I sure the initial motive behind the trip wasn't really planned to "please" the TG17 but instead is "pleasing" some particular people. Don't get me wrong and don't say I'm politicking this issue, honestly I don't really envy with the trip, but since is last sem, come on, lets have some gathering before leaving. If u think of the Redang trip, u know why. 1st u label it as class trip, mean is for the entire classmate, but did u ever ask your classmate suggestion?
so u simply say"wohoo, class trip, lets go redang lo...", then i also can say"wohoo, class trip, lets go singapore". Yeah, i know u are giving ideas, but shouldn't u should discuss with classmates 1st before deciding where to have the class trip?
Anywhere, don't really care, so thankful to Peak Swee for organizing this trip. Be thankful and nice right? So belanja people makan la. Don't keep asking people join this join that to share the "cost" especially those people who don't even know the "cost" exist.
I been living in Kampar for 2 years already, adapted the "Kampar life". Two years in Kampar really save lots of money (although i used to saving already) especially when after break up. Never regret of living alone in new town. Great housemates.
2 years in Kampar UTAR, what I have learned besides academic stuff?
1st of all is trust yr instinct than your lover's word. Especially those who stick with guys all the time.
what else? can write.
not much. Friends? some people misuse "friend" as a tool for them. Honestly, I myself will do such a things. But at least, be thankful and do a favor back to yr "friend" at least???? I ain't selfish person, but I won't keep agreeing whatever anyone say.
Good night, hope I wake up early and go library and really study.